Let’s talk trash. Specifically Key West trash cans.
Live on the island long enough and your brain does this weird Photoshop editing thing. Voila, no more trash cans. Like with overhead utility lines and massive cell tower spires, your peepers no longer register those truly ugly things. Most of us are so accustomed to the clutter that we don’t see it, but it’s there if you care to look.
I’m frequently amused as I browse the homes-for-sale listings. There’s nary a blue, green or gray trash can anywhere in those photos. But we all know some poor dude is schlepping cans back and forth between frames so prospective buyers don’t have to see the huge plastic bins with their floppy lids.
I’m sure no one warns them their trash cans will have pride of place at the front of their lovely new home. The cans gotta be pulled out and in on trash day, so it’s easier if you don’t have to navigate the postage-stamp lot your house sits on. (Same thing for cars in real estate photos. Notice how there’s always a plethora of parking right in front? Surprise! In real life, all manner of vehicles will scrunch in, leaving you to park three blocks away with a week’s worth of groceries.)
The reason you pay a premium for a home with off-street parking has little to do with actually tucking your car there. It’s because that tiny slot is perfect for your trash cans.
Trash can duty day | Wrap the fish. Please
One of my first paying jobs when I arrived on the island was trash day duty. I’d go to vacation rentals the night before trash day and haul out the cans, then return the next day to haul ’em back in. I became an expert witness on three things: (1) Vacationers do not take out, much less return, their trash cans even when there are instructions; (2) They do not have a clue about what goes in which can and don’t care a whit about recycling, and (3) They sure do throw away a lot of stuff, much more than the average household.
And then there is this: Homeowners and long-term renters understand you don’t dump unwrapped fish parts or dead iguanas willy-nilly in your cans because, well, because the stench! Renters don’t stick around long enough to notice and they don’t care, so in it goes.
As someone whose beloved partner did that one — just one — time, I speak from experience. Disinfecting — de-stinking, if you will — 5-day-old fish left in my green bin took the better part of a morning and you could sniff the leftovers for blocks. Be nice to the trash guys who deal with that every day.
Fast forward a decade and homeowner-occupied houses and long-term local rentals have given way to second homes and vacation rentals — and a massive increase in blue, green and gray trash cans permanently residing on sidewalks, curbs parking spaces and assorted other public rights of way. The good property managers still do trash day, but most simply line up the cans and leave them. It’s worse during season, but it ain’t so good even now.
Walking, biking, even driving through our neighborhoods is an obstacle course of dodging trash cans, holding one’s breath and trying not to yell profanities at strangers lobbing their dog poop into random bins. For heaven’s sake, if you can’t bring yourself to take it back to your own can, at least put it in a green one. The trash guys don’t empty blue recycle cans when you’ve added poop.
The City of Key West has taken notice. Tucked into its agenda this week were revisions to the city’s rules that make it clear you can’t appropriate public rights of way (sidewalks, frontage areas, parking places, curbs, streets) for your permanent trash can displays whether for a residence, a rental or a business. Got a bigger dumpster? Then you’ll need a permit and have to follow the new rules. And, best of all, the new rules acknowledge the need for an increase in fees for vacation rentals. Why? Because they generate more trash than the average household.
Next up should be an education campaign — and a dumpster-worth of enforcement.
I’m sure you’re wondering if there aren’t more important things to write about (home rule, grand juries, corruption, rainbow crosswalks and the death knell for local charities come to mind). Sure, but not this week. You can always re-read the past dozen or so columns on those subjects. Sometimes paying attention to the little things we can do something about matters.
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