Dear Connor | How Do We Understand This New American Century?
“Dear Connor” is a collection of essays written for Connor Cunningham by his grandmother, Linda Grist Cunningham.
I began writing these in 2016 as my construct for making sense of the unraveling American community. Connor may never read them, nor might others; but they’ll help me distill solutions from the cacophony that passes for discourse in this final crisis of the generational turning of America.
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The original, 7-part series
published 11.12.2016
Dear Connor:
It’s been a wicked and wonderful 48 hours, little one. American democracy is one deplorable, nasty swamp (to cherry-pick a few cliches) that somehow works stunningly well. We have, for 45 presidential election cycles, made peaceful transition of power the foundation of our republic. That fundamental premise of American governance must not get lost in the chasm that this week separates half our nation from the other.
Around 3 a.m., Wednesday, Nov. 9, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton called her opponent and conceded the race to Republican candidate Donald Trump and he became the 45th president-elect of the United States.
For many, that was a stare-at-the-headlines-in-shocked-denial moment. For others, it was a moment of fist-pumping-and-equally-shocked-satisfaction.
Baby boomer revenge | Rainbows, home rule and “me first”
OK, boomers: It’s 100 percent our fault that Key West and the world have gone sideways. We are the reason we’re arguing over rainbow pickets, morphing home rule into a historical relic, stalking the globe as a deranged, self-anointed emperor and chanting “we win; you...
Dear Connor | The American “middle” won’t tolerate extremes much longer
Dear Connor, Dick Grist, your great-grandfather, was a political junkie, a World War II vet and a voice of reason when your Ninny went off the rails over whatever outrage of the day sparked my ire. One of the things he counseled me often was big-picture patience: "The...
“Let us live to make all free” | The Battle Hymn of the Republic comes full circle
Six months ago, for the first time in 50 years, I sang the "Battle Hymn of the Republic." Aloud. In church. Off key. With tears and a certain bravado. Using a Union soldiers' marching ditty, "John Brown's body Lies a-mouldering in the grave," as her musical...
Key West 2025 | Our chance to turn despair into action
Here I sit today on my Key West porch a half mile from the Gulf of Mexico (I'm not switching; it's a little piece of resistance). It's a lovely mid-February day. I helped some friends this morning, did my workout, added a half hour of yoga, then went to Publix for the...
Dear Connor | Living the crisis ain’t as much fun as predicting it
Dear Connor, Almost two decades ago, sitting on the balcony overlooking the rough Atlantic Ocean off the Outer Banks in North Carolina, your Uncle Robert and I shared a moment of agreement: The United States was swiftly headed toward a second Civil War. The...
Flying the Pride flag | When symbols and politics collide
Drove by Key West City Hall on White Street the other day, which in itself isn't a big deal since I live nearby. This time I wanted to check something. Was the Pride flag still flying? It is -- but if the Florida Legislature has its way, it won't be for long. On Dec....
Key West churches | Our time of silence must end
If there's one thing I know about churches, it's that we are so darned polite. We'll shake your hand, welcome you with smiles and preach you a message guaranteed not to ruffle your feathers, often so filled with ambiguous platitudes that you can spend much of the...
Key West 2025 | Aging boomers face a daunting choice
You know how the pharmacy techs ask for your birthday when you pick up a prescription? They do that to match the right bag with the right person, but the other day as I eavesdropped on another customer whose birthday was within days of mine, I admit my first reaction...
Dear Connor | We’re on the cusp of transformation. It will not be an easy one
In the context of world history, the United States is little older than a toddler. Our history lessons fill a thimble in time as other countries count their histories in millennia. Yet in the 248 years between 1776, the date we call our founding, and today we've...
Dismantling the 14th Amendment: Keeping it upbeat in Key West when the world isn’t
I love my Key West Bubble, but national dissonance is dribbling through today. I am unsettled at the prospect of living through the dismantling of the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The 14th Amendment, ratified by the states in 1868, can be boiled down to this: Oops, when we wrote the Constitution and the Bill of Rights (the first 10 amendments), we were thinking only of straight white men with money. Perhaps we need to fix that?
Dear Connor | As the American democracy unravels, can there be hope for your future?
American history is filled with “times like these.” Three times we have been here. I believe we will be OK. Though my rage boils over too often, I believe in Americans-in-the-middle. I believe there are extremists on the right and the left — and I believe they do not, do not, represent who we are as a people. They get the attention and the headlines today; spoiled children clamoring for their own ice cream cone, unwilling to share and willing to fight to the death to keep what they believe is theirs and theirs alone. Getting through this transition will not be for the faint of heart. But get through we will.
Dear Connor: Nine promises that we will be OK
Being OK doesn’t mean the next several years will be moonbeams and unicorns. The next decade will be harsh, unsteady, inexplicable and frightening. We will, as a country, walk with that awesome shadow of the valley of death. History tells us that we must face our worst selves before we can create our best.
Dear Connor | The day the young ones took charge
History will remember the march as the coming-to-power of Xers and Millennials. Though there were aging baby boomers aplenty in the crowd and at the microphones, the marches around the world saw these elders step aside to open the way for younger women.
Dear Connor: Breaking the loop of endless despair
The 2016 presidential election will, on hindsight, be recognized as the precursor to the catalyst that ignites the transformation of America from fragmented, angry and disillusioned into cohesive, collaborative and powerful. America will move away from six decades of tearing down to four decades of building up and then we’ll start the process over.
Dear Connor: There’s no shaking off the coal dust
We will draw the line at the hard-core wingnuts at the fringes. I’m not inviting willful haters to my table. They’re not welcome. Period. We need to do whatever we have to to keep the haters corralled. And we must recognize there’s such a thing as hate born of unknowing.
Dear Connor: Hang on; the mess is almost over
Every 80-85 years, we enter this final generational shift that culminates in what can only be understood as a conflagration that burns off the accumulated mess and re-positions us for growth.
Dear Connor: How to marginalize the haters
Not all the -ists and -isms are haters. Not all the tacky and tasteless are haters. Most are just unwitting products of ignorance. We’re teachable. If we work at overcoming our ignorance, if we work on expanding our understanding, we don’t do as many bad things to each other. We get a whole lot closer to living by the Golden Rule.
Dear Connor: People with holes in their pockets
There’s not enough money to go around, to fulfill the promises made by Social Security, Medicare and state and federal pension systems. We can blow glitter and rainbows all over those facts, but it won’t change them.
Dear Connor: Put on your listening ears
While I can’t fix or change it as an individual, I can write about it, I can teach my son and give him the tools to deal with the mess he and his generation are going to inherit in 20 years. And I can pray that there will be others that do the same.
Surviving American chaos: The complete 7-part-series in one post
The 2016 presidential election will, on hindsight, be recognized as the precursor to the catalyst that ignites the transformation of America from fragmented, angry and disillusioned into cohesive, collaborative and powerful. America will move away from six decades of tearing down to four decades of building up and then we’ll start the process over.
Dear Connor | Key West Pokemon and the Outrage Button
Good afternoon, Connor. I did the eye roll thing over the latest iteration of Pokemon and figured it was just another mindless time suck best left to the younguns. That was before I read these two words: AUGMENTED REALITY. No self-respecting, shiny-ball-loving geek...
Dear Connor | Being a grownup sucks
Good morning, Connor. Being a grownup sucks. You're three so you're thinking about things like blue PlayDoh. You think Henny-Penny is a great kids' book about a nutso chicken, not a description of this summer's run amok world. But, yeah, being a grownup sucks because,...
Dear Connor | What’s for dinner? You decide
Good afternoon, Connor. Did you know there are only two kinds of people in the world? Yeah, I know it looks like there are millions, but I think all those millions can be divided into two groups: the ones who know what they want for dinner -- and the ones who don't....
Dear Connor | Which super hero will you be?
Good morning, Connor. I loved the picture of you and Charlie Rex Junior that your MamaDada texted this morning. You're both wearing striped gray "cat" pajamas and that made me smile. Nothing beats a kid and a kitten with my morning coffee. Did you sleep in your...